As We Walked In Fields of Gold
by Naril
Summary: Sixty years after the Battle of Five Armies, Bilbo is living peacefully in Rivendell having just finished his book. He is visited by an unexpected friend passing through on his way to see his brother and elven lover and finds the stories he wrote down are only part of a much larger picture. FIX-IT AU but also mentions of character death. Don't like don't read!
1. Prologue

_Remember when I said I would not post anything in a while? Yeah, so the last Hobbit movie gave me far too many feels and I needed to get them out in the form of something I don't usually ever publish: A fix-it AU. I don't even know when I jumped on the Figrid carriage of the denial train, but here we are and I need this out of my system before the EE comes out and destroys my sweet denial by showing us the funeral scene for Durin's heirs… just… nope! _

_UPDATE: _

_As of this posting, I am rewriting some of and restructuring the whole story. Here is the new Prologue :)_

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><p>"There is one thing I would like to know old friend." Fíli took a moment to take a deep drag from his pipe. "Why does your book say we perished alongside uncle?" He looked over at the quite elderly hobbit from where he sat next to him on a low stone bench, looking out into the peaceful valley of Rivendell.<p>

Bilbo coughed on his own longbottom leaf, startled. It made the blonde dwarf chuckle, that he was able to fluster him just like in the old days when he had been their unexpected burglar.

"What was I to do? A good story ties up neatly and follows one simple adventure. How was I to include your brother's tie to a woodelf? And the fact that neither of you wanted the throne? Not to mention my dear fellow that you did so to be free to marry a daughter of men, Bard's child no less? No, no, no. It would have run for another three volumes. I am only glad I finished the one book." He put his pipe down for a moment, looking at the dwarf seriously.

His old eyes were sad as he took in the changes in the dwarf who had grown into his prime, golden beard long enough to form a single braid, though still trimmed shorter than others his age kept it. He wondered if it was a tribute to his uncle who he heard once wore it in such a fashion or for practicality. A blacksmith could not afford to be vain after all when he may quickly light himself on fire. "You didn't mind all that much, did you?"

Fíli smiled sadly under his moustache braids, which though a little thicker remained unchanged much like the thick mane of hair. At least something, Bilbo noted, because the expression in his blue eyes was far too full of grief for his liking.

"I'd rather future generations believe we died heroic deaths than disgrace sweet Sigrid and my uncle. My decision reflects in him and mother and though she was furious, she was also happy for us. But it was not the honourable way."

"That is because your people have a strange sense of honour. Endearing, but strange, if you don't mind me saying. Forgive an old hobbit for assuming that your decision to be erased from the chronicles of this Age was giving him license to let his imagination run away with him."

There was silence as they enjoyed their respective pipes. Bilbo eventually lowered his, glancing nervously at the dwarf. He had been overjoyed to see him, but did not need to ask to know what had made him pack up his things and leave Dale when his life had been there.

"May… may I ask what… what happened?" He stumbled over the words, not feeling like he had been delicate enough.

Fíli's eyes darkened immediately. "Last winter,… she had grown quite old for her people I understand… she caught a chill that…" He swallowed hard, taking another deep draw of pipe weed, "she had never been sick… not noticeably, you know. For the longest time she pretended it was nothing to worry about… until…" He turned his head up to look into the clear sky. "A coughing fit had her so weak she could no longer stand and by the time I had forced her into bed and a healer had come, it had gone on too long. Her lungs…"

Bilbo could see the unshed tears in his eyes and reached over to place a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to… I understand."

"I held her." Fíli could not stifle the sob then, Bilbo wondered how long he had tried to be strong and held onto this, since he was wont to do so. Even on the quest he had always tried to keep a stoic front though he had been so very young. "I held her w-when… she passed and I thank Mahal that I was there for her. No one should leave this world alone, Bilbo. I-I know what it feels like when you believe that…"

At this point Bilbo decided that whether Fíli would allow it or not he cared no longer and hugged the blonde dwarf close to offer some comfort. He also remembered quite vividly those terrible moments when the young dwarf had been dangled by the collar as a taunt in front of his uncle and then stabbed in the back unable to even face the intended killing blow. He closed his eyes, feeling the horror well up inside of him again, remembering how they had been so helpless and unable to even comfort him as he fell.

"It is no dishonour to mourn like this Fíli, son of Dis. Besides you're no longer in need of a royal front." He whispered to him soothingly, trying to focus on the present instead of the past and the scars it left all of them with, physical or not.

He tried not to gasp then when Fíli wrapped his arms around him in a vice like grip and buried his face in his shoulder, sobs suddenly wrecking him freely. Bilbo gently hummed under his breath, much like he would when Frodo had cried when he had been little and still suffering from nightmares about his parents.

_"…__You'll remember me when the west wind moves_

_Upon the fields of barley_

_You'll forget the sun in his jealous sky_

_As we walk in fields of gold_

_So she took her love_

_For to gaze awhile_

_Upon the fields of barley_

_In his arms she fell as her hair came down_

_Among the fields of gold_

_Will you stay with me, will you be my love_

_Among the fields of barley_

_We'll forget the sun in his jealous sky_

_As we lie in fields of gold…" _

He quietly began to sing, the words coming to him easily for he had thought of this untold story and many others for a long while after he had finished his book. Some may call him a sentimental old fool, in particular he pictured a dwarf with raven hair and sapphire eyes, but Bilbo had always been a poet at heart.

Slowly, Fíli's sobs began to quieten down, his shoulders no longer shaking so hard that it jostled Bilbo as he held him. "She was so strong, Bilbo. I remember whenever it pained me to see signs of her age, of the fact that I would lose her, she would hold me tight, telling me that nothing mattered but the present and we needed to enjoy it while we could." He mumbled into the old hobbit's shoulder.

When they moved apart, Fíli reached down to pick up his pipe which had fallen to the ground forgotten. "Most of my people live in the past; past glories, past grudges… She taught me to just live in the here and now."

Bilbo smiled sadly at him, still resting a hand on the broad shoulder, gently squeezing. "Soon you will be able to remember the good times more than the bad, that is all the comfort I can offer you."

It earned him a warm, dimpled smile from the dwarf though it lacked the cockiness and youthful optimism that he remembered from all those years ago when he and his brother had first barged into his smial. "Thank you, Bilbo. I wish… well, I wish uncle…"

The hobbit nodded with a pained expression in his eyes. "I know, lad. I know." He carefully folded that particular grief away deep into the back of his mind and smiled once more. "What will you do now?"

"My idiot brother and his elf are living near the River Lhun. I will go to visit them. My son is with me. You will meet him later, he is studying with the Lord Glorfindel. I want him to know our history from more than one perspective."

"Your son?" Bilbo's smile broadened. They had exchanged letters, but he had not expected to meet the lad. He knew he had taken his parents quite by surprise since they had thought they would be unable to have children after more than fifteen years of marriage and Sigrid had almost thought herself past the age of being able to conceive.

"Yes, Frerin is a true son of Durin though I am glad he has his mother's smile and temper." Fíli sighed, eyes lightening at the thought of his child. "He is as reckless as Kíli ever was, though Sigrid used to be much better with keeping that under control than I'll ever be. I think I understand uncle a little more now. I almost feel bad for setting him loose on this place."

Bilbo could not help but laugh merely. "I'm sure he can't be worse than the lot of you during your stay here bathing in the fountain!"

"Adad!" A loud cry sounded then and he chuckled. "Speak of the menace." He stood and turned to find a tall blonde elf along with a shorter figure approaching them.

Bilbo smiled at Fíli. "My, my. He looks just like his father." He told him but instead of pointing out the similarity in colouring, nodded at the six blades the young dwarf carried in his belt even in a peaceful place such as this, three on either side of the large belt-buckle.

Fíli chuckled. "How did he do, Master Glorfindel?" He addressed the elf who smiled and Bilbo noted still had eyes almost as youthful as the dwarf by his side, he would never stop marvelling at that. "He did well. We traded off two hours of studying for a knife throwing competition and I must say I'm looking forward to it."

"Adad, how many more times are you going to make me read about those ancestors of ours?" The young dwarf complained, interrupting the polite exchange. He had the same Durin blue eyes as his father and great-uncle and though still fairly young at forty years of age, already towered over his father by a good few inches.

"Until it sticks." Fíli reached up to ruffle the lad's hair good-naturedly, the height difference making it a little comical.

Frerin looked at his father disgruntled and blew at a strand of his golden hair which was left just as unruly as Bilbo remembered Kíli's to have been, sporting no braids, just like his beard was left unadorned. "It's sticking well enough, Da'! They all have the same names anyway. It's not that difficult."

"Frerin, I'd like you to meet our famous hobbit, Bilbo Baggins." Fíli then turned to the hobbit who was still taking in this dwarf who looked so much like those two young fools who had barged through his door and into his life.

-"Mr Boggins!" Frerin turned a toothy grin at him and Bilbo groaned.

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><p><em>Frerin was born 40 years before the Lord of the Rings and because I really like the idea of Sigrid and Fíli having a child and he can't be much younger due to, well human aging, I decided to change his age after the wonderful Borys68 got me some reliable information about dwarves that I had been unable to find! So no babyFrerin this time, but perhaps I can sneak him in later on in another chapter. I still can't believe I'm trying my hand at another multi chapter story.<em>


	2. Chapter 1

**_This is turning into fix-it fic from this chapter on. So if you don't want to read that, turn back now and don't complain later_**_. _

_As a side note: I set myself the challenge to keep the FILM-canon intact as much as possible and not change any scenes of the film for this. This means __Thorin who's last breath we definitely see on screen, is still going to be dead__ and Bilbo has returned home in grief. I am sticking with film canon because that was what made me need to fix things. lol sorry not sorry._

_Therefore, I had better hurry up and have this finished until the EE comes out because there is no way I can fix the funeral scene…. :'( _

_ALSO WARNING FOR DESCRIPTION OF SURGERIES!_

**_UPDATE:_**

**_I cut the flashback for now. I felt it was too jarring and did not fit in here and like I said I did not like the structure I had originally so here be the new one with more fixing and less flashback. _**

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><p>"Here be the dwarf-camp lass. Your people are over there." The guard addressed the young girl gently, deep-set eyes under the helmet taking in her bedraggled appearance. He had not seen much of the men who had taken to hiding in the relative safety of the ruins of Dale. With the battle over, he expected their leader but not this slip of a girl in rags.<p>

"I know." She replied, jaw set stubbornly though she could barely meet his gaze in nervousness. "I have come from my father Bard the Bowman to offer herbs and bandages to the wounded."

The dwarf squinted at her then, he had heard the big folk aged differently, but she was much too mature for that young face of hers.

"Well, I had better go with you then." He said out loud, looking around for someone to take over his post.

"That won't be needed. I'll take care of the lass." A voice spoke and he turned to find one of the Company of Oakenshield approaching. He remembered him being the one with the weird hat.

"As you will, my lord." He watched still a little confused as the other tightly hugged the manchild before leading her away.

"Still can't believe they call me that. Quite, quite ridiculous really." Bofur muttered so only Sigrid could hear. He should not have been surprised to find her here after all but he dreaded what he would have to tell her.

"I'm sorry Bofur… I… heard rumours…" She stopped him right when he was trying to find something unimportant to ramble about. He stood still for a moment, then turned to her shuffling awkwardly.

"Lass…" He shook himself. "Follow me. They're… in a bad way. We'd best hurry." He told her not really brave enough to meet her eyes.

He guided her through the tents to one at the outskirts of the camp, closer to Ravenhill. Knowing this would be hard for her, he rested a hand on her slim arm as they entered.

To her credit she only sucked in a breath at the sight before surging forward.

Two field cots had been laid out, one for each of the Princes of Erebor. The younger of the two was not alone. The red-headed elf lay over him, cradling his cheek and hand as she cried, quietly singing to his unmoving form.

Sigrid gave the heartbreaking sight barely a glance, eyes fixed on the waxen faced blonde brother, lying entirely too still on his side, eyes half open but misted over, a bloodied rag all that had been used to cover a gaping wound in his back. The air was thick with death the smell of blood and filth tangible. She gasped, convinced she was looking at a corpse.

"We thought him dead already when we found him, Dwalin had seen…" Bofur broke off, squeezing his eyes shut at the thought. "but…we moved him and…well… the dead don't bleed afresh…so we-we hoped to at least make them a little comfortable before the end."

He could not help the sob that rose up his throat when the girl unsheathed a knife that he recognized well, Fili must have gifted it to her to defend herself when the dragon had come, and moved it to the dying dwarf's lips, catching the wisp of breath on the shiny blade. Her shoulders sagged the tiniest bit.

"Why are they not being tended to?" She half-whispered, her hand reaching up to brush back the thick but sweaty mane from Fili's white face.

"The healers say there is nothing left to do…" Bofur sighed, looking over to the grieving elf who was yet to ever let go of Kili's battered form.

-"Where is the wizard?" Sigrid blurted, bringing his attention back to her. She stared at the blonde heir of Thorin, fingertips drifting over his bearded cheek as if trying to memorize him. Perhaps that was exactly what she was doing.

"He was off to find Bilbo and I haven't seen him since." The miner told her rather helplessly.

"That useless wizard would be of no help." An elegant voice spoke up from the entrance of the tent and only then did Tauriel also look up in shock.

"My lord." She whispered.

Thranduil inclined his head to her a little. "I have come to make amends, if I am not too late."

Before their unbelieving eyes he made his way over to his former Captain, only to stop in his tracks. "How much longer?" He then asked, and neither Bofur nor Sigrid had any idea what he spoke of.

"A little while." Tauriel gave the Elvenking a sad smile. "The bond is much stronger than expected."

Thranduil gave her a penetrating look, then nodded. "Very well, I shall look to the other one first."

He turned and made his way to Fili's side, Sigrid watching him like a hawk and refusing to back away, her hand tightly grasping the dwarf's cold, limp right hand.

The elf ignored her and took a moment to examine the dwarf's still disturbingly half-opened motionless eyes before he removed the cloth that was sopping with blood to take a look at the grisly wound. He gave no indication of any thoughts though Bofur watched him closely as he prodded the surrounding flesh gently.

Fili showed no sign of waking or reacting to the pain and it worried him. He may as well be dead. Sigrid visibly tightened her hand around his and was obviously fighting tears. The injury was messy and terrible to look at. It was indeed a wonder he was still drawing breath.

"Spider venom." Thranduil reached over to lay a hand on his forehead then, leaving the wound for now and closing his eyes, much like Bofur remembered Gandalf doing with Thorin all those weeks ago on the Carrock.

Only unlike then, Fili did not wake, instead his eyes slid shut and he took a noticeably deeper breath. Sigrid holding his hand thought she felt some warmth return to it and that his features softened a little as if relaxing into peaceful sleep after a nightmare.

The Elvenking then called in his melodic language and immediately another appeared, clearly having accompanied him as guards.

"Bring me a healer. Have him hurry. Tell him to bring clamps and thread and his potions." He then turned to Bofur who had a hard time not gulping under the still cold blue gaze. "I need hot water, boiling would be best and you would do well to bring some actual bandages not rags that simply soak up the blood."

Before he knew it, Bofur was racing to do as he had been told. A glimmer of hope had settled in his stomach and he would not fail them; not again.

######

"Ori! " The scribe shot around at the voice, he had hidden behind some boxes, scratching away with his piece of coal, his fingers shaking too much to really create good sketches but his mind burning with the need to write all the horrors of today down.

Bofur slid to a stop in front of him, gasping for breath from his sprinting through the camp. "Lad! I need you to come with me. You need to watch the lads for me while I get some water and bandages from the healers."

The young dwarf tried to figure out a response, perhaps a question, his mouth opening and closing but Bofur did not give him time. "What're you waiting for, lad? Off you go!" He yelled, already on his way to run his errand, holding on to his hat.

Ori entered the tent with some trepidation and was shocked to find the Elvenking and another, darker haired elf standing over Fili's cot. They barely spared him a glance so that he had the time to take in the girl kneeling by the injured dwarf's side.

He vaguely recognized her as the Bargeman's daughter who had provided them with food and dry clothing. He wondered what had happened after they left to have her sit silent vigil by Thorin's heir's side, taking even the liberty, he realized with some shock of stroking the Prince's hair.

His eyes widened when her fingers trailed lower, seemingly oblivious to the elves exchanging quiet words in their own language, touching the braids in the blond's mustache which miraculously were still in place. Only lovers would dare a gesture so intimate.

He felt himself go red at the assumption. Once all was said and done, if people heard about this, that scandal would be, well, huge. Nevertheless, he felt his heart go out to the poor thing.

"He needs to be held down for this." A voice broke through his thoughts. It took him a moment to realise that he had been the one addressed. He turned startled eyes at the two elves who were both looking down at him.

"Excuse me?" He managed in a stammer. He saw that while he had been staring at the girl, they had cut Fili's soiled tunic away to have more room to work and cleaned most of the blood away, though it was still running in thin rivers from the gaping stab wound.

"What will you do to him?" he could not help but ask. By this time Bofur burst through the tent, a large pot of steaming water in his hands and a bag of other things around his shoulder. "Here ye are. I"ll be off to inform the others." And off he went again, leaving Ori entirely alone with a situation he was not at all comfortable with.

"He is bleeding on the inside. I must find the damage and fix it." The dark haired elf explained, while the Elvenking simply stared at him impatiently. "The poison will actually act in favour for this, since any uncontrolled movement may be lethal. This is why we need to be quick."

Ori found himself nodding and moved to stand by the end of the cot, waiting for more instructions. He did not receive any and so leaned over Fili's legs to hold him in the position that the elf had placed him in and just in time too because suddenly there were thin metal instruments in the elf's hands and then dug into the wound. When the fingers holding the instruments also disappeared into Fili's lower back, the sounds alone were enough to make Ori sure he would be sick. He had to turn away and so did not see when another incision was made on Fili's front.

The worst part was that though Fili did not move at all, he made a noise that was just barely audible and the weak moan froze both Ori and the girl. He chanced a glance at her. Though pale as a ghost herself, she spared not a single look at the elf doing such delicate work but instead crouched so that she was close to Fili's face, whispering to him, cupping his cheek and once again stroking his cheek in a way that Ori should have found highly improper if not for the situation.

"Can he feel this?" He croaked, when the injured dwarf gave another whimper and he could see the girl hold back tears at the sound.

"He is in a place between sleep and death." The Elvenking spoke up and Ori tried to keep himself from shrinking under his cold gaze. "There is not enough sensation left in him to be able to identify it as pain. He will however be aware of death creeping closer, which is why, Master Dwarf, we have to be quick."

Ori nodded, barely able to look at the elf and instead focused on his task, barely able to keep his revolting stomach in check after that. It felt to him like forever until the elf reached for a needle and some sort of thin wire or light thread to stitch the large wound together much like Dori might with a tear in his tunic before repeating the procedure with the smaller cut that had been made just under the dwarf's ribcage. He gulped but also found himself unable to look away anymore.

The elf-healer then very calmly washed their hands before reaching for a little pot and covered their work in a dark green poultice before placing a thick cloth on top of it. "Make sure he does not move. The thread I have used is elf-hair, so there will be less chance of an infection, but they may still rip and then there will be no help left for him." The healer then explained to the girl who was looking up at both elves with immeasurable gratitude.

As one, it seemed, the elves then moved over to the other bed holding Kili with Tauriel looking up at them though she was still singing under her breath. Was she chanting? He had heard that elves could weave their magic through songs.

When Ori followed with one last look at Fili, being watched over by the girl, he noticed how alarmingly blue Kili's lips were turning, how shallow his breathing. He bustled to his side quickly, not liking the worry in the red-haired elf's eyes.

####

He did not want to relive the hours that had followed. The process had made him wonder how he had thought the treatment of Fili's wound alone had made him almost throw up. They once again asked him to hold their patient down, though with Kili, he did have to struggle against bunching muscles in response to the sudden pain as his injury was prodded and poked by two elves, while the other held his head in her hands, softly singing still.

It was just as well since he still dared not think about what had been done in too much detail. The elf had taken a long thin blade and trailed her hands, at this point Ori was sure it was a female, along Kili's ribs with obvious intent, he could not help the noise of protest.

"He will suffocate if I do not do this." The healer tersely told him and though Ori found it a little hard to believe that stabbing him would help the younger dwarf breathe better, he just closed his eyes and held him down.

He did gag when she inserted what looked like a glass-tube into the new wound and proceeded to secure it with all types of bandages to keep it in place.

Ori, as soon as he knew he could safely do so, excused himself and darted outside to the back of the tent to be rather violently sick. Along with a trickle of a soft pink fluid, he had managed to hear the whistle of air out through the tube. However, he had found it reassuring that Kili seemed to breathe a little easier, his lips though still almost white had lost their blue colouring.

Exhausted he stepped away from his own vomit and let himself plop down against the tent wall. This was certainly something to be embellished for his chronicles. People did not need to know the details of the Prince's treatment, nor that the author of this great story had emptied his stomach after.

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><p><em>After seeing the Battle of Five Armies I had to make myself feel a little better and so watched the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy and even though I (as I've probably said before) don't usually write fix-its, this has been glaring me in the face and begged to be written. Shelob's poison had Frodo look like he was dead, right? <em>

_So there you go. Fili was not dead, just paralysed…. and Kili well, I will get to him. JUST TRUST ME ON THAT, THEY'RE FINE; THEY'RE ACTUALLY OK! WELCOME TO MY LOVELY DENIALVILLE!….I'm not hysterical… at all…_


	3. Chapter 2

_**Sorry about the lack of update last week guys! Hope to keep it as regular as possible but hiccups are just in the nature of the game ;) Hope you enjoy this and at the end as a special treat there is a little flashback to give the relationship between Fili and Sigrid a little context. **_

_**As a sidenote: I know that it is Fíli and Kíli and that I have been inconsistent about the spelling. I will just keep it Fili and Kili, which is the spelling used in my copy of the Hobbit to keep things easier from now on.**_

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><p>It was a strange tableau to be sure. Two unconscious young dwarves on their cots with only thin blankets and each with a silent watcher by their side. Thranduil had dismissed the healer and took in the sight, feeling like this part was done and he would look to his troops next.<p>

He had not counted on Bard storming into the tent. "Sigrid! I've been sick with worry. What are you..." He trailed off, having caught sight of the Elvenking.

"The Dragonslayer, I assume this child is your daughter." Thranduil addressed the man.

"Y-yes." Bard narrowed his eyes at him.

The Elvenking looked between the two, face stoic as ever. "I would speak with you Bowman. Much needs to be discussed."

Bard nodded, eyes still on his daughter. "Da, where are Tilda and Bain?"

"Bain is running an errand for me and Tilda is just outside. That dwarf with the hat and the one who doesn't speak are with her." He rolled his eyes at the thought of how his youngest was so obviously taken by them.

Casting a look at his oldest though made him realize she may not be the only one. Not by the way she was clutching that blond one's limp hand.

The Elvenking followed his gaze, his face taken on the look of someone who had caught a whiff of something unpleasant, though he did not speak up as of yet.

"I'll watch her, Da. We can stay here." Sigrid found herself saying, trying to hide her blush.

Bard raised his eyebrow, but said nothing, clearly not wanting to have this discussion in front of all those present.

"Why do you care so much about these dwarves, child?" The Elvenking questioned, displaying no tact at all and clearly aware of it, glancing at Bard before entirely focusing his cold gaze on Sigrid.

Behind him, Tauriel sent him a glare, though her attention soon returned to Kili who was squirming a little under her hands though he was too deeply unconscious to be aware. Her hand returned to his sweaty forehead, chanting too low under her breath to be heard by any but other elves.

Sigrid felt herself flush again though this time it was not anger. "He protected my family when he was weaponless himself." She spoke up, trying her best to not seek her fathers eyes and instead meet the elf's.

"And that inspires such loyalty as this in daughters of Men?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, sure that she was being made fun of. "Your majesty understands life debts, surely?" She spoke, trying to keep her voice steady and attempting to sound just as patronizing as he did.

There was an odd twitch of the elf's lip. "I do."

Sigrid swallowed then, realizing that she had been talking to a king. "Thank you." She then spoke but he ignored her turning to Tauriel.

"Legolas has gone to join the Dunedain." Then he swept out of the tent, his guards following. Tauriel sighed at the comment before turning her attention back to Kili, her eyes as pained as ever if not more so.

Bard gave his daughter a long look and appeared to want to say something but then instead followed the elves, the frown on his face only deepened.

"It is a sad world in which help that should, no needs to be given has to be rewarded with thanks and is not common place." Tauriel quietly spoke from her perch by Kili's side once they had been left alone.

"What connection did your king speak of?" Sigrid asked, because the silence that was surrounding them made her uncomfortable and made everything seem even more overwhelming.

The elf looked up to meet her eyes and gave a weak smile. "He was gone." She quietly said. "I thought he was gone and I could not take it. I could not bear the thought of such a warm and lively one such as he…" She broke off and squeezed Kili's limp hand in hers. "I prayed to keep him in this world and the Valar heard my pleas. His life is tethered to mine own. It kept him breathing and his heart beating and will continue to do so until he is well enough to do without it."

"You're giving him from your own life?" Sigrid frowned.

"Yes. My people are blessed with an undying light and injuries that impede breathing are tricky. Sometimes the body simply gives out under the strain." Tauriel's attention had focused entirely on Kili's pale features by that point. "As long as I can keep the bond intact, he will not leave this world."

Sigrid did not know how to respond and even if she did, there were pounding footsteps and loud voices outside that drew their attention.

Four dwarves entered, three of which utterly froze at the sight before them. Ori who still looked a little green could not help but smile as he stepped forward. "What did I tell you?"

"It is true then." The eldest, Balin spoke up in a voice that sounded more worried than relieved.

"Will they live?" He asked Tauriel who straightened a little when addressed. "We should wait till dawn for more certainty, but their chances are certainly better than your healers left them with."

"Dain's healers you mean." The tallest, fiercest looking dwarf muttered though his brother quickly shot him a sharp look.

"I was sorry to hear your king passed on the battlefield." The elf graciously ignored the comment.

The dwarves looked grieved at that reminder, then moved a little closer to their princes.

"We shall keep quiet about this until the morrow then." Balin announced and apparently satisfied left along with his brother, Ori trailing behind. Bofur shot Sigrid a smile. "See, lass. All will be well." He said.

###°###

The company took turns staying in the tent with their two Princes. Only for the time of Thorin's funeral did they have to leave and Dwalin did so reluctantly even though it was his childhood friend who was to be given over to the Mountain.

He knew that Thorin would not begrudge him his hesitation since he had seen these troublesome lads grow up. Much like their uncle, he had been there when they had taken their first tottering steps, at their first attempts at sword and axe fighting and picked them up to bring them home when they had gotten into trouble.

He was also dubious about the tall elf at Kili's side, always holding his hand or resting her own on his forehead. Neither of the Princes had woken yet and it did not sit well with the old warrior to rely solely on elvish medicine however much Oin reassured them that they had done what he would have found impossible. There was also the other constant presence in the tent that was weighing heavily on Dwalin's mind.

The daughter of the man who had brought down the dragon was sitting at the older Prince's side and had yet to move. Her sister had come to sit by her side or would animatedly ask questions of the Company while the brother only ducked in to check on them. Bofur and Bifur both seemed happy enough to have the child around, having a love of children of all races.

Dwalin himself did not approve and worried about the familiarity the older daughter of Man displayed towards the unconscious heir of Durin. If Fili had foolishly dallied with the girl, not only would it be a political mess, but there were also those in Dain's entourage who would use it to discredit the potential next king under the mountain.

Finally he tore himself away, knowing that it was his duty to accompany his shield-brother on his last journey.

###°###

Sigrid was not going to admit it, but she was exhausted and her whole body was aching. She had just woken up once again from falling asleep curled up next to Fili's cot.

It had been only a few hours since the elven healer had assured her that the dwarf would not die in front of her eyes, that if he had lasted this long, things were looking less dire, but that had not been enough to persuade her to leave his side. The poison should be wearing off by now, the antidote doing it's work. It was only a matter of time.

She startled when the object of her thoughts stirred as if on cue, groaning softly.

She looked up to find Tauriel's eyes also intently focused on the blond Prince from where she sat, her hand buried in Kili's sweaty hair as if to anchor him to her.

Sigrid silently cursed the shaking of her hand as she reached for Fili's bearded cheek, hoping it might bring him to awareness somehow.

When he leaned into the touch, eyes only sliding open halfway to look at her blearily, she whispered his name.

First there was no recognition, glazed eyes searching her face before there was a weak twitch of a smile, though only a shadow of his usual cheeky, dimpled grin.

"S-Sigrid." He croaked, barely audible.

For a moment, she was almost ready to collapse over him and cry but tried to collect herself to get him a cup of water.

Before she could get her body to move and turn away from hazy blue eyes returning her gaze, Tauriel appeared by her side, reaching to help the dwarf lift his head a little and drink from a water skin.

When the elf took it away and retreated again, he looked more aware, eyes a little clearer though still heavy with the need for more healing sleep.

"Kee?...Kili?" He started to shift more restlessly. "U-uncle?"

Sigrid quickly reached to hold him still. "Shh... Don't move to much. You'll tear your stitches." She tried for a calm voice, but she was deeply afraid he would tear the damage to his insides again, bleeding to death without them knowing until it was too late. He had precious little blood left as it was Oin had told her. He would have died within minutes had the elf not acted as she had.

Fili mercifully stopped moving, though she was not sure if it was not simply that he had already worn himself out. "Where...Kee?" He managed breathlessly, fear taking over the glassy eyes and Sigrid feared he would try to move again.

Again Tauriel came to her rescue. "He is right here, Master Dwarf." She told him and moved aside, giving Sigrid a gentle nudge so that his line of vision was cleared and he could watch the elf returned to his little brother's side.

He sucked in a painful breath at the sight of the inert form of him. "I-is he..."

-"We are keeping him asleep a little while longer so his lungs have time to heal." the elf smiled at him in reassurance. "You are both on the path to recovery."

Sigrid noted that though he seemed relieved, he was still agitated. She hesitated, only having dared to do so while he was unconscious but then moved her hand to brush over his matted hair in a way she had always used to soothe her younger siblings.

When his tired eyes found hers again, she could not help the tears anymore. "It's alright. You can rest now. You're both safe."

He did not need to know about his uncle's fate whose funeral was being held at this very moment. There would be time for that when he was better, when he was stronger.

Fili finally appeared to relax at that, though his hand crept down towards the stitches at his front. Sigrid quickly caught it in hers. "Don't touch it." She soothed, though still a little teary, a happenstance she cursed inwardly.

He seemed to register her distress for the first time then, frowning and squeezing her hand with the little strength he had.

It was clear he worried for her and she did not want him to. Yet, it was ingrained in both their nature, so she forced a smile for him and carried on stroking his hair softly. "Sleep. We're here to watch over Kili and you. You don't need to worry. You're both safe." She repeated, knowing he would try to stay awake to watch over his brother.

After scrutinizing her a little longer, he nodded the tiniest bit and allowed his eyes to close. On a whim, Sigrid leaned over to kiss his forehead. "Sleep." She urged again, "I'm here."

She sat back, with his rough hand still in hers, feeling a little reassured, though there was a dull pain deep in her gut at the way things had turned out. She felt like decades had passed since he and his company had invaded their small house.

So she sat and watched him sleep.

###°###

_"__Here." A soft voice behind him had Fili jump. _

_They had just discussed how short their time was running and he had for the first time in what he thought to have been weeks, found time for himself to think. He had rather not, because he found himself standing by the warming fire (he also felt like he had not been warm in an age) chewing on his pipe with any pipe-weed the elves had not taken from his far too wet to even attempt lighting up with. _

_He looked up to find the Bargeman's eldest daughter giving him a warm smile as she held out a small pouch. _

_"__You've been playing with your pipe for so long, I thought you might actually like to use it. Da won't mind if you take a pinch." _

_"__Thank you." He smiled in return, surprised at the fact that she might notice such a thing when they had clearly overwhelmed the poor family with their arrival. _

_"__It's no trouble. Just don't let the others know or you'll leave none, this will be our secret. Da doesn't smoke much anymore anyway so…" She suddenly blushed. "I'm sure you don't care for me blabbing on. You look like you have enough on your mind as it is." _

_She made to turn but he reached for her arm. "No. I mean, I don't mind. And I wish to thank you for aiding us and feeding us. I'm sure it was a bit of a shock." He told her, hyperaware of her birdlike bones under his thick fingers and how he had to look up to smile at her a little. _

_She laughed. "Only a little. Though I have to say, it is the most excitement we've seen here apart from the Master's raids." _

_Fili frowned. For one that was a troubling thought and secondly he felt appalled at how he noted people were treated in the world of men. _

_"__Oh, don't worry. They haven't been back in months. They have embarrassed themselves everytime, looking for weapons and such nonsense." She was quick to tell him. _

_"__Is that a normal thing in towns like this?" He asked, packing the pipe and handing her back the pouch. _

_She took it with a nod. "I wouldn't know. I grew up like this, see. And I have never left this place. I shall leave you to enjoy your pipe, Master Dwarf." _

_-"Fili." He told her quickly and putting his flint down quickly, holding it along with the pipe in one hand, sketched a quick bow. "At your service." _

_She blushed again and laughed. He decided the combination suited her. "Sigrid. At yours and your family's." She curtsied before she bustled over to the hearth where a soup was merrily bubbling which she had seemingly created in no longer than a heartbeat to feed the company._

* * *

><p><em>tbc...<em>


	4. Chapter 3

_**Guys, You're lucky! I **_**_caught a horrible flu so double update this week. Enjoy! ;)_**

* * *

><p>Dwalin turned to leave the deep caverns where they had laid Thorin to rest as soon as he had composed himself enough to face the lads and their still dire condition. He owed it to his sword-brother to watch over his sister-sons, make sure they were alright.<p>

"Cousin." A voice stopped him in his tracks. He squared his shoulders as he waited for Dain to catch up with him.

"Cousin, I hear the lads are recovering?" The red-haired dwarf-lord spoke in a voice that belied something else on his mind.

"No thanks to yer healers." Dwalin glared at the other, crossing his arms in front of him because Lord of the Iron Hills or not, he remembered how Dain had once struggled with his first battle axe.

He felt a little guilty when genuine hurt flashed through Dain's eyes. He had never been one for the subtle art of political talk and such that Thorin took pride in and had made sure Fili would learn too. Dain was first and foremost a warrior and Dwalin had always found it easier to talk as equals with him.

"Ye know as well as I do that those blasted elves have skills that our healers can only dream of. Mahal's hammer strike them for being so secretive about it, more lives might have been saved otherwise." Dain then told him.

Dwalin nodded, sighing. "Forgive me cousin. Things have happened that should never have come to pass. Old warriors like me find it hard when there is none to blame."

Dain nodded with a sigh, clapping the taller of the two on the shoulder. "I know. I find myself wondering if this Mountain is truly worth the price we paid." It was odd to see the otherwise merry Lord of the Iron Hills so subdued.

"Thorin was convinced of it." Dwalin muttered.

"So he was." Dain nodded. "And yet, I've heard whispers. They say he was not himself before the battle?"

Dwalin found that the tears he had refused to shed were burning in his eyes once more. "He wasn't. Mind the gold Dain. The dragon has cursed it." In his mind's eye he saw Thorin again, staggering under the madness. He had hurt to see him once again wearing that crown, when he had been laid to rest the Arkenstone on his chest. Perhaps it was just as well that he should guard both those burdens in death.

"You're talking of the gold sickness. Come now, Dwalin, surely you don't believe in that nonsense." Dain squinted at him and chuckled.

"I have seen it Cousin Dain. I saw what it did. But with the Arkenstone buried, perhaps you are right and the danger is gone." Dwalin steadily held the others gaze, hoping he would heed his warning.

Dain snorted then. "Laddie, even if it did exist, it will not make a fool of this dwarf. I will not be taken by such a thing that no axe nor sword can fight. In fact, I am to the treasury in a moment, I want to be rid of that poncey King and his friends and Balin and the others agreed to bring him his silly stones so that it might be the end of that. I will take care of it personally. Poor Fili will have enough to worry about once he has woken."

Dwalin looked at him and could not conceal his worry. But before he could speak, Dain chuckled again. "You will see, cousin. Fairytales do not scare me and I will prove to you that you should not fear them either."

He slapped Dwalin's shoulder again. "A veteran of Azanulbizar should not worry about old ghosts!" And then he was off, leaving Dwalin with a sinking feeling in his gut.

* * *

><p>When he stepped into the tent, his heart dropped to find Oin and an elf-healer standing over Fili's cot. In fact, he felt his blood surge like it would just before a battle. "What is wrong with the lad?" He barked, making the girl who had chosen that moment to walk in behind him with a steaming bowl of water jump.<p>

"He woke." She said when Oin either ignored him or truly had not heard and the elf shot him a glare before going back to his examination. "But he has become feverish." She had swollen red eyes, clearly having cried and it made Dwalin's heart drop.

His eyes went to Kili and the elf by his side shot him a smile that he would have found irritating if he had not been so worried. "Kili is stable. Though a long way from waking." She addressed him calmly. "And Fili will be well soon too. I have seen the spider's poison and the things it does to the body when purged. He will get through this."

"The main-worry is the lad's moving." Oin chimed in, making Dwalin once again wonder about the true extent of his deafness. "There is no draught we can give him for pain or rest if we are to cleanse his body but he has started to move about a fair deal."

He went back to discuss possible approaches with the elf, when Dwalin stepped closer to actually be able to get a glimpse of Fili.

At the sight he sighed, feeling incredibly old suddenly. He had seen this before. The fever, the sweat, the cramped limbs and the shallow panting of breath were the poison perhaps, but the distress the lad was in and how agitated he appeared even if unconscious, was rather familiar.

He stepped to his side and laid a gentle, tattooed hand on the lad's quaking shoulder drawing back when he flinched at the touch, crying out weakly. "There is nothing your draughts or remedies can do for this." He then stated and looked up to meet Oin's knowing eyes. "And if I were to hold him down, things would be worse."

The healer reluctantly nodded in agreement and seeming to understand, convinced the elf to turn and check on Kili.

"What is wrong with him, master dwarf?" The girl's voice spoke up then when they had left, satisfied that they had done what they could.

Dwalin sat on the edge of Fili's cot, looking at the way he grimaced and muttered in his dreams, how his hands clenched in the coverings. "Battle does this." He said before turning to her. "Go see to your family, lass. I'll see him through this."

He waited, heard her hesitate before leaving and then turned back to Fili. His mind flashed back to the moment he had last seen him, when Thorin had sent them off to the caverns. They should have known then that they were sending them to their deaths.

The old warrior glanced at the elf, to find that she was chanting lowly, eyes closed, hand on Kili's forehead once again.

Then he let the sob escape his throat that he had been holding in for so long. He could not help but see in his mind's eye how the cursed white orc had dragged the elder of the brothers out by the scruff of his neck, lifting him up like a trophy.

He remembered how the lad had been unable to fight, had only weakly kicked and floundered. Dwalin had known then. His soul had refused to acknowledge the reality of what was about to happen, but he had known.

It would be to his everlasting shame that he had turned away. All the had seen, all he had done on the battlefield but he could not watch helplessly as the boy he had taken under his wing as soon as he was old enough to lift a sword and long before that, when Thorin had proudly presented his first-born nephew; as he was about to be… He simply could not bare it.

Never would he fail either of the lads again, he vowed silently then. He had brought enough shame upon himself, having sworn to protect the line of Durin with shield and body. Instead, Fili had almost been killed while he watched on.

He could not know what they had done to Fili inside those tunnels, but he could give a good guess. He would not have gone down without a fight. The cuts and bruises that were starting to yellow were testament to that.

There would not have been time for elaborate torture, but Dwalin knew enough about orcs to know that they would always find time to play with those who fell into their clutches.

There was one thing that he knew often helped those who fought nightmares after battles. He did not have Thorin's voice, but it was all he had to offer.

In a low voice under his breath, he began to hum an old tune he remembered his own mother used to sing for him as a child. He thought he remembered Dis singing it to her young sons too. First he was not sure if Fili would even hear, but when he once more tried to place a hand on his shoulder, softly, he did not flinch.

He continued to hum, not confident enough with the old lyrics to sing them, but the melody he remembered well enough. They had said not to move him, but the old warrior thought he needed to know he was not alone and so risked carefully lifting him so he could sit behind him, cradling him, in arms made for battle, like the child he had once known.

He rubbed small circles across his charge's upper back, careful of the injury when he made a sound too low to be a whimper, but not quite a groan. Fili clutched at fistfuls of his tunic when he made to move away, apparently aware he was not alone if still caught in his nightmares. So he stayed.

"You'll be alright, my lad." Dwalin told him, wiping at his eyes with his free fist roughly, because Mahal forbid someone might walk in on his lapse in strength. "You'll both be alright." He would make sure of it, as long as there was breath left in his body.

* * *

><p>Sigrid did not know where to go. Without the immediate responsibility of looking after Fili she felt quite lost. She had gotten herself a bowl of thin stew and spoken to some of the other survivors for a while. Their immediate concerns were about shelter and food and few even dared mention the winter months ahead of them.<p>

Her father had been so busy, trying to gather supplies and get Dale defensible until the winter truly hit, but it was him she needed right then. She had tried her best to reassure them, but she felt inadequate in assuaging their fears.

She made for the elf-camp nearby as the sun was descending, knowing that he was often there negotiating with the Elvenking for aid. Though the elf had been more open to the talks, he was still cold and hard to convince. Her father seemed to think he would be able to reason with him though.

"Da!" She called when she instead found him in a heated discussion with the red-bearded dwarf-leader she had caught glimpses of.

He cast her a distracted smile, but extended his arm for her to step into.

"If you send the elves away, you are sentencing my people to starvation." He then turned back to the dwarf.

"They have what they came for, I want them from Erebor's doorstep. It's not my concern if you lot don't know how to take care of yerself." The dwarf groused.

"I thought you were Lord of another mountain? When did you take charge here?" Bard quite angrily demanded and Sigrid gulped, understanding that this argument had been going on for a while.

The dwarf blustered, then turned away. "This will not be forgotten, Master Bowman." He barked over his shoulder.

"I will have to find the white-haired one and speak to him. Balin, I think?" Bard sighed and turned to look at his daughter. "I don't know why this one thinks himself the head-negotiator suddenly."

Sigrid shrugged, just as ignorant to the dwarven hierarchy as he was. She curled closer under his arm, hugging into her father's chest like she had been wont to do as a child.

"What is the matter? Are the…" He did not finish when she just shook her head. "No, they're still recovering as well as is to be expected. I just… I miss home." It was not quite what she felt, but she could not put into words how she was struggling to catch up with the turn their lives had taken.

Bard, thankfully seemed to understand and squeezed her a little, resting his chin on her head. "We all do. If things go well, we will have a new home soon though. Even if we have a few lean months ahead of us."

* * *

><p>She returned to the tent when her father was called away once again and found Balin talking with the warrior who was sitting on the edge of Fili's cot, large hands gently rearranging his blankets and then resting a hand on his head protectively.<p>

For a moment Sigrid hesitated, feeling like an intruder. The warrior must have heard her though, because he looked up and got to his feet, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Balin turned to face her as well.

"Master Dwarf, my father has been looking to speak to you." She addressed him after giving them both a nod. It was not like there was time to curtsey everyone when things needed to be done.

"Is everything alright, lassie?" The white-haired dwarf frowned at her.

"Yes,… well, no. He has been speaking to… forgive me, the… one who rode in on the boar?" She felt herself blush in embarrassment because she should have asked her father about that.

"Dain? He was to give Thranduil those stones he was owed. We agreed I would speak to Bard."

"He… well, apparently he wants to be rid of the elves and they are the only ones who can help us with supplies for the winter?" It came out as a question because she did not want to get involved more than she had to.

Balin did not speak but his eyes narrowed. "I see." He eventually noted and turned to Dwalin exchanging looks.

"He went into the treasury after…." The warrior told him, trailing off in the end and casting a glance at Fili who Sigrid saw with some relief appeared to be sleeping peacefully and no longer had the flush of fever high on his cheeks.

"I will speak to your father, lass. And my brother here shall track down Dain to see what this is about." He put a gloved hand on her arm, patting it. "We have no intention of leaving your people to fend for yourselves."

With that she was left alone again, though Dwalin seemed reluctant to leave Fili's side and gave her a sharp look. "Take care of him." He cast a glance over at Tauriel, who was yet to leave Kili's side. "I'll be back." Then he ducked out too.

Sigrid moved back to her spot, feeling more unsure of herself than ever. What would become of them all? She hesitated but then took a hold of Fili's hand once more. All they could do was keep hope and keep doing everything they could to survive.

* * *

><p><em>She found him sitting on a stool in the corner by himself, hunched over, his head in his hands. The light outside had started to dim and his brother was only getting worse. The fever would not let up and the pain must be excruciating. <em>

_"__I made you some tea." She addressed him gently but it still startled him. _

_He stared at her for a moment and then quickly rubbed his hands over his face as if to rid himself of fatigue. It was too late, she had seen the remnants of tears. "Thank you." He nonetheless tried to smile at her as he took the cup gratefully. _

_He took a sip and looked at her startled. "This is strong morning brew." _

_She smiled and nodded, leaning against the wall. "It will help keep you awake." At his strange look she felt the need to elaborate. "When Bain or Tilda catch a cold, this is what keeps me going as I take care of them." _

_He nodded and took another drink watching her over the rim of the cup. "You'll be a good mother one day." He then said before dropping his eyes to the floor suddenly looking shy. _

_Sigrid laughed to hide her blush but quickly grew serious. "I don't know about that, I only did what I had to." _

_"__We all do." Fili glanced up at her, finished the tea and stared at the empty cup with eyes she recognized; eyes that were much older than they should be. She saw them every day in the looking glass. _

_"__When my brother was born," He then spoke without looking at her, "none expected him to live. He was so small, barely breathing and I was too young to understand." _

_Sigrid said nothing, knowing from experience when a person simply needed to be listened to. She had always been good at that, at letting people talk away their troubles. _

_"__I insisted I wanted to hold him and started bawling when they would not let me. Eventually, my ma though exhausted, made Oin pass him to me. I think she thought I should at least get a moment with my little brother if he was not long for the world. I'm still surprised they did, I could have dropped him but maybe they really thought it did not matter anymore." He put the cup down next to his feet, casting a glance over to the door through which his brother was being treated by Oin. _

_"__Uncle was behind me, helping me hold him the right way though, I think. He was tiny and all quiet, barely moved. But when I spoke to him, he opened his eyes and looked at me." He was still addressing the floor though his eyes flickered to her afterwards. _

_"__I told him I would protect him and always be there for him because that was what big brothers did and that he would never be alone if I could help it and I remember how he smiled at me even as a newborn. I swear I remember that more than anything even if others may say I was too young to really remember and that newborns can barely see far enough to recognise who holds them." _

_Sigrid smiled gently and nodded. "My ma died when she birthed Tilda. I was there too." _

_He nodded at her to continue, fiddling with a small knife he had pulled out of nowhere between his hands, performing absentminded tricks with it. _

_"__Well, I remember when the midwife passed her to me and sent me out of the room, Da was already kneeling by the bed clutching Ma's hand and I didn't understand… didn't want to understand what was happening because when Bain had been born I only remembered the happiness." She paused, watching his quick fingers for a moment as the knife disappeared before slipping again out of its hiding place. _

_"__So there I sat, with this little life in my arms and I just knew that I would do everything for my siblings." She finished in nearly a whisper. _

_Fili stilled his nervous play with the knife and shoved it into a concealed sheath in his borrowed clothes. "I would die for my brother." He said and then cast a long desperate look at the door once again. "I should have protected him. I should have gone after him." _

_Sigrid moved to kneel in front of him then, startling both herself and the dwarf. "We do the best we can, Fili. That is all we can do." She told him, grasping his big hands in hers and blushing when she realized that she had addressed him by his name for the first time. _

_He looked at her in surprise but did not shake off her hands, instead squeezed them. He swallowed heavily. "Thank you." He breathed and she found herself smiling at him with more warmth than she had ever felt for anyone who was not part of her family. She understood his plight only all too well. _

_"__I didn't do anything." _

_He returned the smile and it reached deep into the pit of her stomach. She had not expected such a smile from one so quiet and filled with worries such as he was. "You listened. I'm not used to speaking to someone like this." He told her._

_She had to clear her throat, embarrassment suddenly reeling its head when she realized that they barely knew each other enough for such intimate talks. "I am happy to listen whenever you need it." She told him nonetheless and made to get up with a last squeeze of his fingers. _

_He did not let go though and pulled her back down so they remained at eye-level a little longer. "If ever I can return the favour, I will." He told her earnestly, blue eyes boring into hers. _

_It left her speechless for a moment. None ever thought she might need an ear since she herself was usually the one who did the listening. It struck her that a stranger such as he was might see it more than her own family though he had far greater things to worry about. _

_"__I thank you…Fili" She tried out his name again as she rose and found him looking up at her with the hint of a cheeky smirk that she thought she had seen on his brother when they had first arrived in their house. _

_"__No, it is I who is in your debt, Sigrid." He told her. _

_Feeling the blush about to bloom on her face again, she nodded curtly and turned to see if the others had need of her._

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><p>tbc...<p> 


	5. Chapter 4

It was just when she was finally about to doze off, cheek rested on her own hand holding Fili's, that he stirred. There was a twitch, a sudden intake of breath that had her guess that he had had another nightmare and then glassy blue eyes met hers, though for a moment they were unfocused.

She said nothing, instead simply squeezed his hand, hoping the fever was not so high as to make him delirious.

"You're still here..." He mumbled, voice nonexistent but eyes clearing a little as they flickered over her face.

Sigrid forced a smile. "So are you."

He returned the smile with a tired twitch of the lips. "S-Sigrid…" He somehow managed to lift his hand from hers, to brush shakily across her cheek.

"You'll be alright. Just rest." She whispered, relishing the touch and cupping his hand with hers to keep it there.

For a while they stayed like this and his eyes slipped shut again. Sigrid had hoped he might sleep some more but then they snapped open again.

"S-Sigrid… my-my legs!" Fili croaked, panic in his eyes. He made to move, to try and turn over so that he could look, but was stopped by the pillows at his back, stabilizing him still.

They should have expected it. It was truly a surprise that it had not happened when he woke the last time, but he must have simply been too weak then. The spider venom had been strong and was taking its time leaving his body. First she needed to calm his panic though.

She quickly cupped his cheek, leaning in so that her chin rested on the mattress.

"Hush. Stay still." She tried to sound reassuring but truly, she was hurting to see him in such a fright and so disorientated.

"B-but…" He was gulping in air, breathing much too fast, eyes darting around him.

"Look at me." She gently ordered, hoping to ground him. "You've woken before. Do you remember?"

He stared at her, confusion still clear in his fearful eyes but at least he was focusing on her and stilled moving.

"Shhh… breathe. With me. Steady." She carefully stroked his beard, avoiding a few bruises near his cheekbone. He shut his eyes tight, but did as she said, forcing his breaths to slow and deepen until they were almost in sync with hers though still shallower than she would have liked. The elf had said his lungs had not been affected and she hoped it was true though his ribs had taken a heavy beating judging from the bruises alone.

She kept up the steady caress of his cheek, waiting until he blinked open his eyes again, still bleary but no longer fearful.

"You were poisoned with spider venom." She then said, trying to keep the waver out of her voice. "The elves administered an antidote but it will take some more time since it was a concentrated dose, they said. You'll be right as rain once it's left you."

His eyes widened. "I-I remember… Azog! He…" He paused, weak hand lifting again to fall short just of touching her but she caught it in hers and feeling bold and overwhelmed with relief at seeing him much more lucid than when he had last woken, she pressed a kiss to the thick skin of his palm.

"He… I couldn't let him get K-Kili!" He mumbled. "I knew… I could tell…I sent him back." He stared past her shoulder and she knew he was looking at his brother, who was tirelessly being cared for by Tauriel.

"W-why is he…?" Fili managed, "I tried…I tried…"

"Shhh…You're alive. Kili is too. You're here. Both of you. You're both alive. You did it. You saved him and you're alive." She knew she was babbling nonsense but he looked so shocked at still being among the living and in so much pain at seeing Kili injured that it was all she could do not to give in to tears. His blunt fingers danced over her cheek where she held both their hands as if she might disappear.

"I was…so sure…" He quirked his lips up into a tiny smile, her reassurances finally sinking in. "I did not hope to live." He breathed. "I never thought… to see you again."

"And yet I'm here." She smiled, glad that he seemed more lucid than she expected.

The smile broadened just a little, his eyelids heavy as he blinked slowly. "And yet you're here." He repeated in a reverent whisper.

"Go back to sleep." Sigrid told him, hand creeping up to smooth at the furrowed brow and lines of pain around his eyes.

"I'm afraid to." He mumbled, though his eyes were about ready to fall shut and he visibly fought to keep them open a little longer. "What if this is a dream?"

She chuckled at that. "It isn't." She whispered though she could see that he was already only on the verge of consciousness. She settled back down herself, continuing to stroke his temple until she herself fell asleep, thanking the Valar with her last coherent thought that his selflessness had not killed him after all.

* * *

><p><em>Once the cold night air hit his face, he took a deep breath to steady himself. The elf had healed his brother. Kili would be fine.<em>

_In fact he had walked out when he had already heard him waxing poetic about her again. Thorin would most certainly not like this. _

_He turned his troubled eyes towards the mountain then. So far there was no sign of the dragon though they had all felt a few more quakes under their feet. Perhaps the company had succeeded? _

_The little dwarfling inside of him would love to see this end in gladness, but he had been raised to be more sensible than that. There was no chance they killed the beast and once it had devoured them all, it would come for them. They had doomed themselves and the innocent lives of the people in this town. _

_"__Are you alright?" A soft voice spoke behind him and already he recognized her easily. He turned to nod at Sigrid. _

_"__You should be inside. It's not safe out here." He told her, but there was no true conviction there. _

_"__Apparently inside is not safe either." She retorted and moved to stand by his side, her hands on the railing to look at the mountain. "I've lived in fear of this mountain all my life and now that the earth shakes and the dragon may come, I seem to be unable to think of it as real." She then confided quietly. _

_Fili followed her gaze and nodded. "It is the same when you find yourself in sudden battle, your mind protects you so that you may function. It is only afterwards that you realize how close you have come to danger and death." _

_"__Have you seen many then?" She asked, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. "Battles, I mean." _

_He shrugged. "Depends who you ask. My brother and I have been trained to be warriors from a young age and been in a fair amount of skirmishes, but if you ask uncle or any of the others, they keep telling us that we know nothing of true battle." _

_"__At least you know how to defend yourselves then. I could not even protect my family just then." She very quietly admitted, eyes downcast. _

_Fili looked up at her for a moment, contemplative. "Then you should be better prepared next time." He finally stated. _

_When she looked at him, he pulled the little knife she had seen him play with out of its sheath with a flourish and held it out for her handle first. "Here, take this. It will be better than nothing." _

_As she examined the blade, finding runes embedded into the metal, he unbuckled the little sheath from where he had placed it on his wrist. _

_"__It was hidden under my vambraces. The only one those damned elves did not find. It is light but sharp as a razor and should serve you well in a pinch." He explained and held out his hand, palm up towards her. _

_She took a moment to grasp his meaning, then placed her wrist in his hand, watching as he strapped it on, adjusting the buckles for her much slimmer wrists. In the end he had to wind them around her wrist twice to secure it. When she handed him the knife, he demonstrated how it would slide into her palm with the tiniest flick of her wrist. _

_"__I made it myself. It's a neat little trick and will surprise your enemies. Now," He took a step back and Sigrid found that she missed the warmth his body seemed to be giving off, "here is what you should aim at." _

_He pointed at his own neck. "Anything here is like to kill, so always begin there if you can. Otherwise, the eyes are a good guess because it will get them off you if they are worried about having lost one." _

_Sigrid gulped but nodded and listened carefully as he explained about thick bloodvessels which were close to the skin and if pierced would bleed an opponent dry and where the small blade would be most likely to do serious damage. _

_"__If you can, you're best bet is running though. If you're not a warrior, you should always take that option first. Only fight when you must." He finished, his face a mask of seriousness. _

_"__Thank you." She managed. "I assume you have never run from a fight?" She could not help but ask. _

_"__There is nothing dishonorable about retreating when you're about to be overwhelmed to come back later and return with a good strategy." He seemed quite serious still, though his eyes were showing a small sparkle of amusement. _

_Sigrid could not bring herself to smile. "There is no retreat here." She then muttered, her arms going around herself, though the knife on her wrist was a little reassuring. _

_He did not contradict her but when she shivered again, she was startled to find him holding out the borrowed blue scarf he had been wearing. "You need it more than I do." _

_She smiled in acceptance but when she made to take it, he surprised her again by shaking his head and motioning for her to bend down a little so that he could loop it around her neck himself, draping the broad fabric over her shoulders in lieu of a cloak. _

_"There. I would offer my coat, but well..." He looked away and Sigrid could have sworn he was a little flushed under his beard. _

_"I hope it will be returned to you one day." Sigrid tried, not sure what to say as she straightened._

_"It's not so much the coat... my weapons are... they took my father's swords." He told her quietly. _

_It suddenly occurred to her that he too must have lost a parent. "I'm sorry." She put a tentative hand on his shoulder which he took and smiled up at her. _

_"What's done is done." He shrugged as if it did not matter, but he could not quite hide the pain. _

_Sigrid found herself looking into his eyes a little too long, abruptly dropping her gaze to the floor. "That's true." She awkwardly muttered. _

_"Sigrid..." Fili stepped closer but then suddenly his eyes were drawn to the mountain. "There's smoke." _

_Her heart stopped as she followed his gaze. "Is it the dragon?" _

_"No." He muttered, squinting to try and make it out better. Her hand was still in his and she found that it made her a little less afraid. "No. That looks more like forge-fire. Come, we must tell the others!" He tugged her towards the door, only letting go of her hand when he approached the others urgently telling them the news. _

_That was when they were all nearly thrown off their feet when the earth shook and a roar like a hurricane sounded from the direction of the mountain._

* * *

><p>tbc...<p> 


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